The relief I feel when I see,
A number which says perfection,
Why is a number perfection?
When it causes so much pain.

I threw my scales away,
After my first apartment,
When the spiralling grew worse,
When the thoughts refused to silence.

Now it’s been how long?
Since I’ve known the number of,
The category my mind craves.
How does one cope?

How does one cope with the itch?
The scratching toil of want,
Those numbers provide me.
Where is my perfection?